Page 70 - Crucial Conversations

52 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS

• Masking consists of understating or selectively showing our
true opinions. Sarcasm, sugarcoating, and couching are some
of the more popular forms.
"J think your idea is, uh, brilliant. Y e ah, that's it. J just worry
that others won't catch the subtle nuances. Some ideas come
before their time, so expect some, uh, minor resistance. "

Meaning: Y o ur idea is insane, and people will fight it with their
last breath.

"Oh yeah, that'll work like a charm. O ff e r people a discount,
and they'll drive all the way across town just to save six cents
on a box of soap. W h ere do you come up with this stuff?"
Meaning: What a dumb idea.

• Avoiding involves steering completely away from senSItIve
subjects. We talk, but without addressing the real issues.
"How does your new suit look? W e ll, you know that blue's my
f a vorite color. "

Meaning: What happened? Did you buy your clothes at the
circus?
"Speaking of ideas f o r cost cutting-did you see Friends last
night? Joey inherited a bunch of money and was buying stu­
pid stuff. It was a hoot. "

Meaning: Let's not talk about how to cut costs. It always leads
to a fight.

• W i thdrawing means pulling out of a conversation altogether.
We either exit the conversation or exit the room.

"Excuse me. I've got to take this call. "
Meaning: I'd rather gnaw off my own arm than spend one
more minute in this useless meeting.