Page 49 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe

deeper meanings. The central function of both procedural and recognition
connect talk is to demonstrate our ability to play social roles as a member
of our community.

Once we’ve connected with someone, how do we continue the conversation?
We use connect talk as small talk. Despite its demeaning name, small talk
serves two important social
functions: self-disclosure
and the structuring of
time. Small talk allows us
a safe way to show how
another can get to know us
better—as we move from
general topics to more
personalized information,
our listeners move from

their ¿rst impressions of us © Stockbyte/Thinkstock.
to something more lasting.

The ¿rst stages of sharing We use procedural talk to create a positive
small talk are used to emotional connection with others.
structure time in two social

situations; this is called pastime talk. The ¿rst type of situation is one that
requires sharing among people who are strangers brought together by a
common circumstance and who are not likely to meet again: cocktail parties

or long plane Àights. The second type of situation is one where people who
know each other meet and exchange information to deepen their positive
connection. In these situations, small talk seems to be socially required, and
the process of engaging in it is just as important as the content exchanged.

To summarize, ritual and small talk are safe ways for us to demonstrate our
need for connection, demonstrate our ability to perform as normal speakers,
and audition for new relationships. Ŷ

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