Page 71 - Effective communication Skills by Dale King

Problem orientation: willing to find a solution

Description: truly wanting to understand

2. Defensive

Strategy: being deceitful with hidden motives

Certainty: not willing to compromise

Neutrality: not having any concern

Superiority: thinking you are smarter and more powerful

Control: tries to manipulate

Evaluation: accuses and judges

Defensive climates won’t ever give a good basis to have constructive
conversation. This is why you have to be able to identify defensive patterns

and change them into supportive ones. Before you speak, ask yourself if what
you were beginning to say might cause defensiveness and try to actively
maintain or create a supportive tone to the conversation.

Over Communication

Sometimes we don’t communicate enough instead of too much. There is such
a thing as too much of a good thing. Many couples are constantly in touch
through social media all day long, even if they see each other each day while
others don’t feel they have to.

There aren’t any rules about how much communication will be healthy. If
you find something that works for you, there isn’t any reason to change
things. What makes you want to connect with others? What motivates you to

send a message or call someone? What do you want out of it?

Positive psychology is about thriving. Try to find solutions instead of trying
to figure out the problem. It’s human nature to want to connect with other
people, but we can’t forget about connecting with ourselves. Do you
communicate with yourself as much as you do with others? What types of
conversations do you have with yourself? Is this inner voice your worst critic
or your best friend?

It is critical in intimate relationships to communicate in ways that feel right to