Page 79 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

assume that you fully understand what the other person is

saying. Instead, if you have any doubt at all, ask: “What do

you mean,” or, “What do you mean exactly?” Then just pause

and wait.

It’s one of the biggest assets I know to lead and control a
conversation. When you ask “What/how do you mean?”, the

other person can’t stop himself or herself from answering

more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-

ended questions and keep the conversation going.

Paraphrase

Another very good idea is to paraphrase the speaker’s words

in your own words. You can nod and smile and then say, “Let

me see if I understand you correctly. What you’re saying is

this…”—and then you repeat it back in your own words.

By paraphrasing the speaker’s words you’re demonstrating

that you’re genuinely paying attention and making every effort

to understand his or her thoughts and feelings. It’s also the best

way to politely interrupt and lead the conversation back on the

right track.

Listen More, Talk Less

You need to know that listening builds trust. The more you

listen to another person, the more they trust and believe in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem—when you’re listening to

somebody, their self-esteem will naturally increase. They will
feel more valuable, respected and just better overall about

themselves. Finally, listening will also build your focus; your

mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, but we

can only talk at about 150 words per minute. It takes effort to

keep your thoughts focused on other people’s words. If you do