Page 84 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

You should also have a timeframe in your head and

know how long you’re willing to be a part of a

discussion. Instead of talking about things like

“attitude” (it might be taken as a personal offense),

focus on certain behaviors these people represent.

5. Focus on behavior, not people. Instead of saying

things like, “Michael, you are a liar!”, rather say,

“Michael, we both know that what’s been said is far

from reality.” Having said that, you should always

use a passive voice when having difficult
conversations. Instead of telling someone what you

want them to do, say what you want to have done,

e.g., “Michael, I need that report done by the end of

the day!”, not, “Michael, you need to finish the

report by the end of the day!” Active voice: here’s
what you did to me. Passive voice: here’s what was

done to me.

6. Focus on the most crucial things. When you are

facing the behavior of difficult people, they always
want you to engage with them in a way they

imagined or are used to. When someone does not fall

into their pattern, they usually get off their beaten

track. Remember: don’t take their bait and never

engage more than you have to. What gets rewarded
gets repeated. Another important thing is to often use

the broken record technique, using exactly the same

words/phrases, which sends the clear signal: “I’m not

easy to throw off my game. I know how to stay on

message.”