Page 316 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

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‘why’ and ‘how’ these changes will help them and you (you are looking for
a mutually beneficial solution); this discussion will uncover his/her basic
‘interests’. Give the other person support and encouragement when he/she
proposes solutions that address your shared interests. Then the best of both
plans can be integrated, while the remaining disagreements can be discussed
and compromises sought.

Watch out for these common pitfalls in negotiations
One of the most common mistakes is assuming that one proposal (usually
yours) will solve all the problems. So, forget about finding ‘the best single
answer’. In most situations, a good compromise is made up of several changes
that benefit you the most (and the person. So, don’t argue over every pro-
posal made; the task is to find the best combination of changes. This is why
brainstorming is so helpful.
Perhaps the most serious pitfall is failing to agree about how to make deci-
sions. If this is left unclear, people will naturally start using all the power they
have to get their way, including threats, power, withdrawal, crying, personal
attacks, amassing personal support from friends, saying, ‘Take it or leave it’,
and so on- a process that is destructive. In ‘win-win’, the two people must agree
on the basis for deciding, e.g., the proposed change is fair, it hurts no one else,
it is reasonable, it is likely to produce the desired outcome (meet our ‘inter-
ests’), etc. Use reason, not emotions (such as a determination to get one’s way).
Thus, decisions are based on principles of justice and logic, and on rational
expectations about effectiveness, if that is what both parties agree on.
Occasionally, you may misjudge the type of person you are dealing
with, for example, you may assume the opponent is a congenial, dependable
person willing to participate in a ‘win-win’ negotiation but find out in the
final stages that he/she is really a determined, hostile barracuda, posing a
potential risk. However, win-win negotiation is based on the assumption
that most people will see the wisdom of being fair and seeking an optional
solution for both sides. It certainly would be a mistake to assume that every
adversary will be inconsiderate, unyielding, and hostile. Sometimes, though,
tough and even mean negotiation can’t be avoided.
Max Bazerman describes five common mistakes while trying to resolve
more competitive negotiation:
i. Believing the person must lose for you to win.
ii. Discovering too late that more information was needed, e.g. ‘I should
have had valves checked before I bought the car’.
iii. Making extreme demands, investing too much in getting your way,
and thus, becoming reluctant to back (and, at the end, not getting the
promotion or the improved relationship). It should be a warning sign

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