Page 311 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

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Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills | 299

sometimes a part of this approach is subtle but skilfully trying to win
more ground than your opponent. The objective becomes an effort
of trying to prove you are clever. Thus, political or social pressure,
misrepresentation, threats-with-a-smile, and so on may slip in, rather
than simply seeking an optimal solution for both sides.
• A few people can control their anger, competitive instincts, and
‘I-give-up’ feelings and genuinely seek an innovative, fair, optimal
solution for both parties. This is a creative and an integrative approach
that one can opt for. However, this requires skill and ability to exercise
wisdom in the trying times of conflict.
‘Win-win’ negotiating is complex process for resolving conflicts, a way of
fairly settling a disagreement. It isn’t getting the best for me; it is finding the
best solution for us. The conflict could involve a lover, your own children, a
parent, a friend, a co-worker, a teacher, a boss, or almost anyone. This involves
respectfully discussing as equals the general situation with the other person,
so that you can understand his/her situation and interests. You must suspend
your judgement and needs; you must ‘hold your fire’ and listen to the other
side; you must see their viewpoint and know their needs. Both parties must
view the conflict as a problem to be solved by them in the best way possible,
not just fairly but optimally, and even creatively. Both should be open and
honest, and not be deceptive and manipulative. Trust must be built.
If an attempt to find a co-operative, integrative solution fails, you
could seek professional help with the mediation, as in marital mediation.
In some cases, you will have no choice except to confront an aggressive
opponent. Win-win solutions (integrative) are fair, optimal solutions
between reasonable people; tough bargaining occurs with an untrustworthy,
self-serving opponent. In some cases, perhaps win-win negotiating can be
combined with tough bargaining methods, but most of the time they are
very different processes. It is probably important to know both methods,
however, and to be willing to get tough (or empathic) if the situation calls
for it.

PURPOSE OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Resolving disagreements as fairly and peacefully as possible is the purpose
of conflict resolution. This may involve parent-child, teacher-student or
marital conflicts, disagreements at work, business transactions and many
other situations. Resolving conflict in a peaceful way will enhance the
psychological well-being of both the parties and it helps both the parties.

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