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DEFINITION

Conflict is defined as a form of relating or interacting where we find
ourselves (either as individuals or groups) under some sort of perceived
threat to our personal or collective goals. These goals are usually to do
with our interpersonal wants. These perceived threats might be either real
or imagined. (Condliffe 1987, 78).
This definition has three elements which are helpful in explaining the
nature of conflict. Firstly, conflict is seen as involving a perceived threat.
‘Perceived’ is an important word here as the basis of the conflict may be ‘false’
or indirect in the sense that there is no real clash of interests or goals between
the parties, but the parties nevertheless perceive, and therefore experience
conflict. Secondly, conflict is experienced at the interpersonal level that is
in our interactions with people. Thirdly, the dimensions of conflict, relat-
ing to our interpersonal wants, are helpful in linking conflict to the idea of
personal and social aspirants. All of these elements are useful to understand
the nature of conflict.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLES

Psychologists have identified the following conflict resolution styles:

• Avoiding or denying the conflict: Assuming that the person involved
in the conflict will give in and move away is quite unusual. Hence, this
is not a desired approach. This kind of resolution style does not help
the individual.
• Many prefer to give in rather than fight. The reason may sometimes
be such that they are being a martyr, sometimes they are scared, or
sometimes they seek appreciation, etc. In any case, this is another
undesirable approach, because it is unfair, and it generates no creative
solutions, and usually such an accommodator remains very unhappy.
• Some people get mad and blame the other person. ‘You ignored my
authority’ or ‘You are totally unfair’ or ‘You’ve hurt me’ etc. are some
such utterances in a state of blaming others. Such a conflict becomes
an unpleasant battle in which they must ‘get their way’ and win at
any cost (like in a divorce settlement). This is also a terrible approach
because it stops all constructive thinking, is unfair (deceitful, threat-
ening, chauvinistic), and produces lasting hostility.
• Other people appear to seek a compromise, i.e. find some ‘work-
able agreement’. It would be wonderful, if it were entirely true, but

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