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Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills | 303
respectful of each other as equals; both contribute to the solution. There is
no force, no threats, no crying or whining or other pressure to get one’s way.
You should possess logic, respect, and consideration of each other. Both
accept in advance that the final ‘solution’ must be acceptable to both. No one
is drawn; everyone wins as much as possible.
If you are negotiating for a promotion or trying to sell an idea, obviously
you must amass all the evidence supporting your points. For the promotions,
list all of the strengths you bring to the company, what extra responsibilities
you will shoulder, how your salary can be made contingent on your produc-
tivity, how much support you have from colleagues, etc. Put together your
best arguments and present them well. Don’t just assume the decision-makers
will ‘consider your merits’, even if you say nothing.
If you can’t think of good solutions to the conflict, try brainstorming
with friends, colleagues, or with person with whom you are in conflict.
Both of you are looking ways you both can win. Do some reading. Try to be
creative.
both of you present your plans for Resolving the conflict: try to integrate
the best of both plans. or, Make a Fair offer or express a Request.
negotiate the differences.
Don’t present your ideas as the ‘ideal solution’; be tentative and honestly
welcome different or better ideas. Nevertheless, clearly state the logical
reasons for the plans or offer you are proposing. Make it obvious that you
have considered the other person’s needs and preferences.
It may be wise to present two of your best alternatives and then ask
other person which he/she likes the most or if he/she can see ways to
improve on your proposals. This shows your flexibility. If the other person
seems unhappy with your suggestions, ask: ‘What would you do if were in
my shoes?’ or ‘What don’t you like about my suggestion?’ . These kinds of
discussion may disclose the other person’s interests and motives, which can
perhaps be integrated.
It is often to your advantage to consider what your alternatives are if
you do not get your ‘interests’ met through this negotiation process. If you
have other acceptable options (besides the one you are negotiating for),
that gives you some security and some power because you can always walk
away from these negotiations. Also, you might not always but sometimes be
wise to reveal to the other person that you have other choices. If you do not
have good alternative (like another job opportunity), present your best case,
appeal to the other person’s sense of fairness, and use the opinion or factual
information to support your proposals.
Normally, the other person will have his/her own plan or will make a
counter-proposal. Do not attack the plan immediately. Instead, earnestly ask
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