Page 108 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

“Romeo Alejandro Maria Antonio Rodriguez, how

could you cheat on me with Esmeralda Rosalia Julia

Desgaldo for the fiftieth time this very season!? We

need to talk!” But that’s my personal opinion. Point

being, you really need to completely eliminate this

phrase from your repertoire! What should you say
instead? “I need your help.” People like to help. Did

you know that we tend to like people who we’ve

helped before more than those who we haven’t?

That’s actually one of the techniques in social

psychology—if you want someone to like you more,
ask them to help you with a small task. When you

express these feelings, you are triggering positive

emotions in them and they feel needed. They will

also concentrate better on what you are trying to

convey. It’s a great start for a “serious conversation,”
which doesn’t have to be perceived as such, being

more relaxed and productive instead.

2. Another phrase which we often use when someone

gets us off track, says something unexpected or acts
out of character is, “What’s wrong with you?!” It’s a

good phrase if you really want to make someone feel

bad, but if you want to solve a problem or difficult

situation instead of annoying or hurting people, you

need to erase it. No one likes to admit that there’s
something wrong with them, so don’t ask, “Are you

damaged in some way?” Instead ask, “What’s

bothering you?” Not only are you showing that you

care about that person by saying this, but you’re also

avoiding creating an even more stressful and neurotic