Page 110 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

smarter, classier and more effective to say, “I heard/I

understood *something*. Let me clarify what I just

heard before I respond, alright?” Phrases like these

can totally change the result you get.

4. Let’s now proceed to another cliché and very poor

phrase which is very popular in our culture that we

hear far too often. “It is what it is.” What does it even

mean? Nothing. It’s empty, devoid of any meaning,

hard to understand (especially for children) and a

very annoying thing to say. You could just as well
say, “Buttons, haircombs, dumplings, scissors,” “I

like grapes so much,” or, “My pajamas are well

starched!” If you don’t want to leave your

interlocutors annoyed, confused and feeling ignored,

you’re better off saying, for instance: “I believe it’s
this way because it needs to be like that on this stage

where we are right now,” or maybe, “I believe all

things are the way they should be at the moment, to

make us stronger and…” Do everything to delete

meaningless “It is what it is” from your
conversations, especially when there’s tension or

stress involved. It’s a good thing to read in ancient

Stoic philosophy scriptures, but not suitable for

effective everyday communication.

5. Here’s the last one I’m going to tell you about in this

book. Anytime you say, “That doesn’t make sense,”

the message your speakers will often perceive is,

“You don’t make any sense.” You really want to be

more precise, at the same time avoiding stressful
situations. Instead, say: “I don’t understand…” for