Page 109 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

atmosphere. You’re reframing the situation, pointing

to a certain problem this person might have, rather

than to what might be wrong with them as a person.

If the person still acts mean or withdrawn and says,

for example, “Nothing…” while rolling their eyes,

depending on the situation, you could kindly say, for
example, “Well, okay. Remember that if you want to

talk with me about something, my door is always

open for you.” Of course, you can use different

words, but you have to show that person that you are

always there to listen to them. Sometimes you might
receive a positive answer, e.g.: “Right… I’m just

sleepy and irritated; I’m sorry for my grumpiness,”

or an answer pointing to a certain problem, “Yeah,

always open for me, right! Last time I wanted to talk

you just…” Either way, it gets you closer to the real
problem and the solution.

3. Another crucial thing in our “Hall of Infamy,” is a

phrase which causes bad emotional response on a

subconscious, biochemical level. It is: “You said
*something*,” or “But you just said…” Anytime you

say something like this, you just make your

interlocutor much more annoyed, irritated and angry.

Remember the last time when someone tried to tell

you that you did or said something you didn’t? How
did it feel? You probably instantly got pissed off or

maybe even aggressive, right? The automatic

response in your brain is resistance: “NOPE! I

NEVER SAID THAT!” Even though you are 100%

sure that person said something, it is always much