Page 98 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

grow a little bit tired of attacking you, it’s time to interrupt

them. Imagine a boxer who is used to receiving lots of

punches in his chest and stomach, just to make his opponent

exhausted and then—bang—KO! Let the steamroller wear

themselves out a little bit and then call them on their behavior.

“Michael, wait a minute. I’ve been listening to you and now
it’s time for you to listen to what I have to say.” Once you say

something like this, they will probably…interrupt. You need to

remain assertive and interrupt back. “Hey, I said hold on. I’ve

been listening to what you have to say and and now it’s my

turn.”

A very important thing is to determine whether this person

normally acts like that or if they’re just now becoming

extremely upset about something very stressful to them and

want you to listen. If it’s not their normal behavior, you should
sometimes just listen and open yourself to a constructive

dialogue. You need to also ask yourself whether there was a

particular event that might have triggered their aggressive

behavior. Usually you are not responsible for the actions and

frustrations of steamrollers, even though they believe so, and

you don’t have to tolerate their rude behavior. When you can
afford it, sometimes a good idea is to just ignore them without

engaging and walk away, but if you can’t, you need to turn

conflict into communication. Again, here’s how you do it:

- Give them enough time to run down.

- Grab their attention. You don’t have to be overly polite
or mean. Instead, be assertive and abrupt. Speak up loud
enough, from your diaphragm. Call them by using their
first name, if possible and appropriate. Hold your head up

so that your chin is pointed upwards. Straighten yourself