Page 94 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

her mouth with an open hand and replied, “No…oh! My dear!

That’s not what I’m saying at all!” My mum just looked at her

silently for a few seconds (I imagined laser beams firing from

her irises) and then said, “By the way, it reminds me of that

funny book I read in elementary school…” As far as I know,

Ms. Jacqueline never commented on our family members
again. You should’ve seen her face (I did as I was stealing

their heavenly chocolate cookies)! I figured it out a few years

later my mum actually used one of the most effective social-

dynamic techniques without even knowing it.

That’s what you can do when you feel that you are

struggling with someone’s annoying judgements. Repeat what

they said and ask a clarifying question, exaggerating the whole

thing. Then, give the person a clear three-second look and

change the topic saying something like, “Now that you
mention it, it reminds me of…” Again, you want to remain

calm (or at least act like you are) and polite, but be

straightforward and serious (don’t say it like their judgements

are a funny joke). With some hard-case people you may have

to do it two or three times, but believe me when I say they will

get the message. That’s the perfect way of dealing with these
people in an eloquent, polished and effective non-aggressive

way.

Coping with “The Exploder”

The fancy sounding “Exploder” is a name for people who
often lose their temper, yell and scream at other people or are

just rude and nasty in general. People act like that for many

different reasons, but usually it’s because in the past, when

they acted like that, other people would get intimidated and

give them what they wanted. The number one reason difficult