Page 291 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

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Interpersonal Effectiveness | 279

becomes important to coordinate behaviour to build the relationship so
that each person can achieve these goals. This happens to students in every
aspect of their lives from living in shared accommodation to team projects
in the classroom.

Self-disclosure
The first step in developing relationships involves self-disclosure. This means
being able to share how you feel about events that have just occurred with
another person. This does not mean revealing intimate details of your past
life. People get to know you by learning how you react, not by what happened
in your past history. Past history only helps if it clarifies why you are reacting
in a certain way. People, who self-disclose too much, can scare others away.

Development and Maintenance of Trust

Trust can take many years to build, but can be ruined by one destructive act.
The key to being trustworthy is to be accepting and supporting. When you
achieve this, others will be more willing to disclose their thoughts, ideas,
theories, conclusions, feelings and reactions to you. The more trustworthy
you are in response to such disclosures, the deeper and more personal will
be the thoughts a person will share with you.

Managing Feelings
Students should manage feelings. You can’t avoid stress. How you manage
stress has a great influence on your ability to reach out to other people, build
relationships, and maintain it over a long period of time.

SUMMAR Y

• Interpersonal effectiveness is about relationships. Getting what you
want (e.g., asking for what you need, learning to say no, setting
limits and boundaries); keeping relationships; and keeping your
self-respect.
• Interpersonal effectiveness does not occur in isolation. This is an
umbrella-term, which encompasses several concepts such as asser-
tiveness, conflict-management, negotiation skills, communication
skills, time management and team-building skills.
• There are several qualities, which demonstrate interpersonal effec-
tiveness. Among many building and sustaining positive relationships,

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