Page 294 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

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BEHAVIOURAL RESPONSES

When animals are confronted with a problematic situation, they come up
with two responses such as flight or fight. Whereas when human beings are
confronted with a situation, three behavioural responses are possible, namely
assertive, aggressive, and nonassertive.
The main characteristics of assertive, aggressive, and non-assertive
behaviour are as follows:
• Assertive: stating clearly what we would like to happen, but without
a demand that it should.
• Aggressive: making sure that we do get what we want, no matter what
the other person feels.
• Non-assertive: doing nothing and hoping, or trying to get what we
want in a roundabout way.

ADVANTAGES OF BEING ASSERTIVE

By employing assertive behaviour you will know how to refuse unreasonable
requests from others, how to assert your rights in a non-aggressive manner,
and how to negotiate to get what you want in your relationship with others.
Assertiveness requires a change in attitude as well as a change in behaviour.
We interact with others based on a set of beliefs about status (who is better
or more important), about how we should behave in social situations, and
about what consequences we expect from our behaviour. Non-assertive
people worry about making a bad impression on everyone (including those
who treat them badly). They also worry about looking foolish in front of
others, and are fearful of negative consequences all of the time.
Making a good impression, avoiding public embarrassment, and protect-
ing your self are all important traits, but non-assertive people take them too far.
They always give in to others. Training in assertiveness helps you learn how to
judge when it is reasonable and appropriate to stand your ground, rather than
giving in to others. It is not about being intimidating or aggressive.
Becoming more assertiveness helps people to overcome fear, shyness,
passivity, and even anger and depression. There is an astonishingly wide
range of situations in which this type of training is appropriate. Some of
these situations are enumerated as follows:
• To speak up, make requests, ask for favours and generally insist that
your rights be respected as a significant, equal human being.
• To overcome the fears and self-deprecation that keeps you from doing
these things.

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