Page 293 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

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13

Assertiveness Skills

After reading this chapter, you will be familiar with:
• Behavioural aspects of assertive, aggressive, and non-assertive responses
• Verbal and non-verbal aspects of assertive, aggressive, and non-assertive responses
• Assertive/responsive model
• Advantages of assertiveness
• Strategies to overcome non-assertive behaviour

INTRODUCTION

Many people have difficulty speaking up in conflict situations. Others may
feel intimidated by intimidating people, or have low self-esteem and regularly
put aside their own desires in favour of what others want. This can result in a
lack of assertiveness, low self-esteem, and helplessness. Lack of assertiveness
makes you feel powerless. Sometimes, if we feel our rights are being violated,
we need to stand up for ourselves in order to be treated fairly. This means
expressing our needs, opinions, and feelings in a tactful and effective manner.
Psychologists call this self-assertion and distinguish it from aggression, which
is generally an expression of hostility.
Some of us want to be ‘nice’ and ‘not cause trouble’, and, thus, we suffer
in silence, turning the other cheek, and feeling helpless to repair offensive
situations. We understand that most people appreciate those who accom-
modate others’ needs before their own. Whenever a ‘nice’ person permits a
dominant person to take advantage of him or her, however, the passive person
is not only cheating him or herself but is also rewarding unfair, exploitive
behaviour in the aggressor.

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