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Assertiveness Skills | 287

Table 13.2 (Continued)
Non-assertive Assertive Aggressive
Eye contact Evasive. Looking down. Firm, but not staring Tries to ‘stare down’ and
‘down’ dominate.
Body Hand-wringing. Open hand movements Finger pointing. Fist
movements Hunching shoulders. (inviting to speak). thumping. Sits upright
Stepping back. Covering ‘Measured pace hand or leans forward.
mouth with hand. movements’. Stands upright, head
Nervous movements Sits upright or relaxed held high. Strides
which detract (for (not slouching or around (impatiently).
example, shrugs and cowering). Arms crossed high
shuffles). Arms crossed Stands with head held up. (unapproachable).
law for protection.

RIGHTS WITHIN THE AREA OF ASSERTIVENESS

These derive from various humanistic beliefs such as ‘all people are equal’ or
‘all people are entitled to freedom’. They are similar to the statements under-
pinning the constitutions of many countries and the universal declaration of
human rights.

All People Are Equal
This is not to say that all people are the same, but rather that, regardless of
race, colour, creed, background, or behaviour, all people are of equal value as
human beings. Thus, your colleague may put forward ideas that are different
from yours (some might say ‘better ideas’). This does not mean that he/she
is a better, or a more valuable person person than you; it merely means that
he is different.

All People Are Entitled to Freedom
This is to say, all people are free to do and be what they like provided they do
not affect others, taking away their freedom of choice. So, for instance, you
are free to listen to your transistor on the beach provided you do not inflict
that choice on others who prefer not to listen.
As with any belief system, an assertive belief system affects the rights you
give yourself and to others, which in the run affects your behaviour.
The following list contains some of the general rights that are available
to you under ‘assertiveness’. They are important if you want to behave assert-
ively in many situations in your life.

• I have the right to have and express opinions, views and ideas which
may or may not be different from others—and so do you.

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