Page 300 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

Project Name: Manual for Soft Skills
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• I have the right to have these opinions, views, and ideas listened to
and respected (not necessarily agreed with or put on a ‘pedestal’, but
accepted as being valid for you)—and so do you.
• I have the right to have needs and wants that may be different from
others—and so do you.
• I have the right to ask (not demand) that others respond to your needs
and wants—and so do you.

• I have the right to refuse a request without feeling guilty or selfish—
and so do you.
• I have the right to have feelings and to express them assertively if I so
choose—and so do you.
• I have the right to be ‘human’, e.g., to be wrong sometimes—and so
do you
• I have the right to decide not to assert myself (e.g., to choose not to
raise a particular issue)—and so do you.
• I have the right to be true to my own self; this may be the same as, or
different from, what others would like me to be (it includes choosing
friends, interests, etc.)—and so do you.
• I have the right to have others respect my rights—and so do you.

STRATEGIES TO OVERCOME NON-ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

The following steps can be considered to overcome non-assertive behaviour:

Realize Where Changes Are Needed and Believe in Your Rights
Many people recognize that they are being taken advantage of and/or have
difficulty saying ‘no’. Others do not see themselves as unassertive but do feel
depressed or unfulfilled, have numerous physical ailments, have complaints
about work but assume that the boss or teacher has the right to demand
whatever he/she wants, etc. Nothing will change until the victim recognizes
his/her rights are being denied and he/she decides to correct the situation.
Keeping a diary may help you assess how intimidated, compliant, passive, or
timid you are or how demanding, whiny, bitchy, or aggressive others are.
Almost everyone can cite instances in which he/she has been outspoken
or aggressive. These instances may be used to deny that we are unassertive
in any way. However, many of us are weak in some ways—we cannot say
‘no’ to a friend asking for a favour, we cannnot give or take a compliment,
we let a spouse or children control our lives, we won’t speak up in class or
disagree with others in a public meeting, we are ashamed to ask for help,

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